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Blue Ruin

from The Screening Room by David Charles

/

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lyrics

I ditched work today,
Took a train out to the bay.
I don't know why, I don't typically act impulsively.
It's freezing on this beach.

Montauk in February
My head is as clean as a baby

In the booth, you were spiking your coffee
Introduce yourself, your name conveys mercy
We trudged out on the frozen lake
I lied to you and invented constellations.

What if the ice breaks?
I have been completely erased.
No more damage to my brain than a night of heavy drinking,
I will go to sleep and wake up without your memory.

Can you hear me? I want to call it off.
Please let me keep this moment, just this one.
Try to hide behind humiliation and thoughts I have buried,
I'm a child bathing in the sink then I'm spinning down the drain.

I know that you are not a concept.
You're just another messed up person
Looking for your own peace of mind.
Even then, I still thought you'd save my life.

I wish I had stayed,
But I was so afraid.
I wish I'd done a lot of things,
But you said, "so go" with such disdain.

You said "intimacy is sharing things."
You want to know me, but my life's not that interesting.
I will get tired. You'll get bored and run away.
It's what you do. And I guess that that's ok.

credits

from The Screening Room, released March 20, 2017

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David Charles Los Angeles, California

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